Chapter Two: Why We Struggle—The Hidden Gifts of Hardship

For the longest time, I wondered why life seemed to place so many obstacles in my path. From the weight of childhood traumas to the pressures of being a single mother in a foreign country, it felt like life was always testing me. But somewhere along the way, I began to understand that those struggles weren’t punishments—they were lessons. Life wasn’t trying to break me; it was showing me what I was truly capable of.

I’ve come to realize that hardships are not there to stop us, but to push us to dig deeper, to find the strength we didn’t know we had, and to grow beyond our own limits. Each challenge, no matter how painful, carried a hidden gift. It taught me resilience, patience, and the value of persistence. It taught me how to live with uncertainty, how to thrive even when the odds were stacked against me.

But more than anything, it taught me to reflect. To ask myself: Why is this happening? What am I meant to learn from this? And most importantly, how can I turn this pain into purpose?

In this chapter, I want to share the tools I used to transform my struggles into growth.

The Tools I Used to Heal and Transform:

1. Self-Reflection and Writing: One of the most powerful tools I discovered was writing. When I was overwhelmed by emotion, when I didn’t know how to process my feelings, I turned to the page. Writing allowed me to step outside of my pain and observe it from a distance. I could see patterns in my emotions, understand the roots of my anger, and even recognize how my past was affecting my present. It wasn’t just a way to release my feelings—it was a way to heal them.

2. Mindfulness and Grounding: Living in the chaos of day-to-day life often made it hard to stay centered. But I found that grounding myself in the present moment helped me manage my stress and anxiety. Simple practices like focusing on my breath, feeling my feet on the ground, and taking a few moments to be still helped me reconnect with my body and calm my mind. It reminded me that, despite the external chaos, there was a place of peace inside me I could always return to.

3. Embracing Faith: My faith has been a guiding light throughout my journey. There were moments when I felt like giving up, moments when I didn’t know how to keep going. But I always believed that there was a higher purpose behind everything I was experiencing. My faith in God gave me the strength to continue, even when I couldn’t see the way forward. It helped me trust that, no matter how difficult things got, I wasn’t walking this path alone.

4. Financial Awareness and Budgeting: Financial strain was one of the hardest parts of my journey, especially as a single mother. But instead of letting it defeat me, I used it as an opportunity to learn. I became precise with my money, learning how to budget down to the last cent. I prioritized investing in my education, knowing that it was the key to unlocking more opportunities. This process taught me that financial freedom comes from discipline, planning, and making wise choices—even when resources are scarce.

5. Vision and Purpose: Throughout my journey, I held onto one thing above all: my vision. I had a clear goal of completing my university degree, and that vision became my guiding star. It gave me purpose, kept me focused, and reminded me why I was pushing through the hard times. I learned that when you have a strong “why,” when your reason for doing something is bigger than the obstacles you face, you can overcome anything.

6. Connection and Community: Though my journey often felt lonely, I learned the importance of finding and building a community. Whether it was friends, mentors, or fellow mothers, surrounding myself with people who understood my struggles and supported my growth made all the difference. We are not meant to go through life alone, and it’s in those connections that we find strength, healing, and the courage to keep moving forward.